by Moe Swidan
Success is a word that we all hear often, yet it’s one of the most subjective terms in our vocabulary. Society tends to paint a picture of success as a certain type of achievement measured by the accumulation of status and material wealth —a luxury car, a big house, a high-powered job. But what if success isn’t that uniform or glossy image we’ve been led to believe? What if success is something deeply personal, something we need to define for ourselves?
For adults between the ages of 25 and 40, the concept of success can be particularly elusive. This is a period often filled with major life transitions—building a career, forming lasting relationships, perhaps starting a family. Through all these changes, it’s easy to feel pressured by external definitions of success. However, it’s crucial to take a step back and ask yourself: What does success truly mean to me?
Understanding Your Values
Understanding what success means to you involves recognizing your core values. These values are the guiding principles that shape your decisions and actions. They could include anything from creativity and freedom to security and family. Once you’ve identified your values, you can align your goals with them, ensuring that your pursuit of success is genuinely satisfying.
For example, if one of your core values is freedom, you might prioritize career opportunities that offer flexibility and autonomy over those that promise higher salaries but come with rigid schedules. By aligning your goals with your values, you create a path to success that feels authentic and rewarding.
Breaking Free from Societal Expectations
Societal expectations can often cloud our judgment, making it challenging to distinguish between what we genuinely want and what we think we should want. The pressure to conform to societal standards of success can be overwhelming, leading to dissatisfaction and burnout.
It’s important to break free from these expectations and give yourself permission to pursue what truly matters to you. This might involve setting boundaries, saying no to opportunities that don’t align with your goals, or even redefining success in a way that deviates from the norm.
For me, this meant stepping away from the corporate world and following my passion of launching a coaching business. While this might be less prestigious in the eyes of some, it brought me immense satisfaction and a sense of purpose. I was no longer just chasing the next corporate job; which I truly enjoyed in the past; I was building a life that resonated with my inner values.
Building Your Personal Definition of Success
Success should not be a one-size-fits-all concept. It’s essential to tailor it to your own values, dreams, and circumstances. For some, success might mean climbing the corporate ladder, while for others, it might mean achieving work-life balance or dedicating time to personal hobbies and passions. There’s no right or wrong way to define success, and it’s okay if your definition changes over time.
There are however certain guidelines for any definition of success you build for yourself, it has to have an element of progression that is measurable against a certain period of time, and there should be a clear outcome. Success is not wishful thinking, it is an action based formula, that requires you to understand where you are, where you want to go, and what you need to get there.
And when you are working towards your own truly defined meaning of success, every step of the way is very enjoyable.
Embracing the Journey Over the Destination
Remember, success is not a destination but a journey. It’s not about reaching a final point but about the growth and experiences you gain along the way. Celebrate small victories, and don’t be too hard on yourself when things don’t go as planned. Every step you take, whether forward or backward, is part of your unique journey to success.
There is a quote by Robert Simic that I truly love: “Follow your highest excitement to the best of your ability in any given moment. Free from attachment to a specific outcome.” This means following your heart in doing the things that excite you at any given moment of time without getting attached to a single expected result. Think about it, if you truly embrace this mindset; maybe just maybe; the unexpected result sets you on a completely new path that is even more fulfilling & rewarding.
Revisiting Your Definition
Your definition of success will likely evolve as you do. What you consider successful at 25 might be different at 30, 40, or even later and that’s perfectly normal. Embrace this evolution and allow yourself the flexibility to revisit and redefine success as you grow and change.
Success is deeply personal. It’s about defining what it means to you, understanding your values, and staying true to yourself amidst societal pressures. By crafting your own unique definition of success, you create a life that is not only successful by your standards but also deeply fulfilling and meaningful.
I hope that after reading this, you are encouraged and maybe even excited to revisit your definition of success!
